For Love & Money

So what if you can't recite your vows after all these years. You remember the gist. “For better or worse. In sickness and in health. In accounts payable and receivable.” Wait. What was that last one? Doesn't sound familiar? Well, if you and your spouse share ownership and management of your company, it should. So says the current thinking about the newest and fastest-growing segment of small business —entrepreneurial couples or “copreneurs,” if you want to sound in the know.

Truth is financial realities such as AR and AP and cash flow now draw fine points on “richer and poorer” for couples opting to become business — as well as lifetime — partners. And “as long as we both shall live” seems much more reasonable (though, granted, not nearly so romantic) to husband-and-wife business owners who honor a reliable month-end statement.

Remodeling — with deep roots often as a family or home-based business — has always been ripe for spousal support. That's nothing new. As work got rolling, the wife (yep, it was usually the woman) pitched in, answering the phone or keeping the books.

It made good business sense. She didn't have to draw a paycheck. Or if she did, it went straight to household income. No need for benefits either. Commitment was a given. And if a remodeler couldn't trust his wife with company secrets, whom could he trust?

In their heyday, such husband-and-wife working relationships were the norm. Indeed, the rationale behind the traditional model continues to hold true for couples content with the time-honored roles.

But some women find these jobs a tight fit. Forced expectations creep into the work-place. Before you know it, the helpful wife is stuck in a job that's all wrong for her — like a framer asked to do detail work or, worse yet, someone else's punch-out. What comes next? Disappointment. Apathy. Resentment. Or worse.

Today's entrepreneurial couples take a more proactive view, deciding where their strengths lie ahead of time. They demand more from their partnerships, at home and at work. More structure. More time off. More balance. Their companies — and their marriages — are better off for it.

It's hard to put an exact number on remodeling companies with entrepreneurial couples as owners. Many opt to list one person as sole proprietor. Other remodelers don't share ownership but still share company responsibilities with their spouse.

Business coach Clay Nelson does have interesting anecdotal evidence. Nelson, who counts the remodeling and custom building industries among his specialties, estimates about 60% of his clients are married couples. But beyond that, he doesn't talk quantity. “I see an increase in quality couples in business,” says Nelson.

“I see an increase in couples knowing what they want — not just what their mom and dad wanted.” Nelson, who was a builder himself, grew up with a general contractor for a father.

“I see an increase in couples who want to get somewhere,” he continues, “who take pride in doing what they do and want to teach their kids how to do it.”

Nelson, who has been a business and family coach for 26 years, always comes back to the importance of a solid foundation. “The business is only as good as the marriage,” he says.

Barbara Rose and Neil Peck were seven years into their 1981 marriage when they decided to scratch the itch. He owned S.N. Peck Builder, a full-service remodeling company in Chicago. She was vice president of operations at a national corporation and the primary breadwinner.

Neil had two guys in the field and brought in about $1.5 million in annual volume. A dedicated craftsman, he loved his work but wasn't making much money. Barbara had a keen business sense but knew nothing about remodeling. One day, Barbara offered to review Neil's books.

“The more I looked, the more I realized how much potential the company had,” Barbara recalls. So the two decided to put their heads together.

“Everything we tried, worked,” says Barbara, now company co-owner. “We tripled our volume within a couple of years.” But something was wrong. “We wanted to take the vacations we could now afford but couldn't find the time,” she says. “We felt trapped.”

The couple turned to a business coach for guidance. Step one: Standardize procedures and learn how to delegate. Within a year, the two were able to take three vacations to Europe.

“It's important to have a non-family member with a clear eye,” Barbara says. “Otherwise you run your company like your relationship, and your employees become your children.”

With their Chicago-based coach, Pat McCann of McCann Communications, as part of the team, the company has grown to $6 million in volume and some 50 employees. McCann, who serves on the company's advisory board, also helped Barbara and Neil put in place a Case Handyman franchise, which their daughter, Marcia, manages.

On the face of it, Vicki and Jim Christo look to have a conventional life — and work —style. He founded Christo Design Build in 1977. Vicki came on board as office manager in 1990. They run the company out of a downstairs office in their home, which sits on a chunky piece of acreage in Lincoln, Neb.

But over the years, Vicki's place in the company has grown far beyond book work and bills. She's upped her investment and now has a hand in marketing, Web site updates, product selection, and client support.

She also goes on meet-and-greets with Jim to make the first customer contact. “Often the men want to get right to what it costs, and the women want to talk through all the details,” Jim says. “Clients think they get two for one.” And with Vicki at his side, they do.

“You need to respect the other person's attributes,” Jim says of his wife's proven skill set. “Everyone brings something different to the table.” The same attitude extends to the company's two employees, a carpenter and a project manager.

Despite current thinking, the Christos don't shy away from a close-knit company culture. “We're like a family,” Jim says. “We wouldn't have it any other way. Our project manager, who has been with us for six years, is like the son we never had.”

The Christos make working together sound easy. Surely their similar communication styles help. Not having kids might have something to do with it too. Or maybe it's that crisp Midwestern air.

“It takes a special relationship and a lot of patience,” Vicki admits. “But most important, you need a passion for the business. I don't just love my husband,” she says. “I love this business.”

Paul LaRoe describes his company startup as typical, at least for the early 1980s. He was 26, with two years of marriage under his belt, and a love for remodeling. He set out in Ann Arbor, Mich., with a truck, some tools, and not much in the way of a business plan.

As jobs came in, paperwork piled up, and LaRoe looked to his wife for help. But what seemed like a natural and easy transition to him would turn out to be anything but.

To hear LaRoe tell it, the plan seemed almost doomed from the beginning. For starters, he didn't put his wife on the payroll. As he now points out, if you don't put a value on the job, chances are your spouse won't either. Eventually, LaRoe did put his wife on salary, but the damage was done. “It was just a job to her — an obligation,” he says. “She didn't share the vision.”

The couple had two kids by then, a son and a daughter, and his wife was dividing her time between taking care of the home and family, a second job, and her work for LaRoe Remodeling. In that order. Working took away from her having a life of her own, LaRoe says, and the resentment continued to build.

“I told her I'd be making $100,000 a year one day, and she laughed at me,” LaRoe recalls. “She didn't see me doing it.” Despite the disconnect, LaRoe kept doing what he knew best: work. “I made no separation between work and home,” he admits. “Business was my life. Family was down maybe fifth on my priority list.”

The couple divorced four years ago, after 24 years of marriage. LaRoe remarried a childhood acquaintance two years later. Neither has any aspirations for her (a schoolteacher) to get involved in the company.

LaRoe's 27-year-old son Brian — after working off and on for his dad during his early teens — is now the company's production coordinator and estimator. In a familiar twist, Brian's wife also joined the staff, as office manager. LaRoe says he and his son talked seriously about the decision. In the end, her strong skill set, managerial experience, and three open minds won out.

“I work hard to make sure Brian and his wife have a better working relationship than his mom and I had,” LaRoe says. “They just got back from a week's vacation and didn't talk about work once.”

Remodeling Designs has double the fun. The 14-year-old design/build company in Day-ton, Ohio, started as an equal partnership between two married couples, Mike and Joan Cordonnier and Erich and Kelly Eggers.

Not only were the four friends, they had the right education mix. The two husbands had engineering degrees; Joan had one in business; and Kelly, communications. Each assumed a suitable role: Kelly handles marketing; Joan manages finances; Erich oversees sales and production; and Mike designs.

The owners credit the company's success— REMODELING Big 50, Gold National Remodeling Quality Award, Professional Remodeler's “101 Best Companies to Work For” — to such core values as constant communication, honesty, and trust. Weekly officer meetings keep the others current on everyone's progress. When it comes to decisions, majority rules.

Mike also points to a balance in personalities. “One person from each couple has a stronger personality,” he says. “Erich and Joan each are stronger-willed than Kelly or I. We are lucky to be blessed with that balance in each couple.”

Another core value: Work should be enjoyable.

“For me, working with my husband and two best friends makes work a whole lot more fun,” Joan says. “There may be other ways to make more money — like having one couple or even owner — but there would also be more stress. We like things just the way they are.”

Mat Vivona Jr. learned from his dad that there's a time and place to talk about work. But that's not all he picked up. The 34-year-old remodeler credits his father with many invaluable lessons. Keep work and home life separate. If you have an argument at home, leave it there. And there's nothing an open mind can't work through.

“I was fortunate to work alongside my dad for eight years before his passing,” Mat says. His father died in a car crash in 1995, leaving 25-year-old Mat at the helm of Father ;#38; Son Construction in Troy, Mich.

The production supervisor-turned-CEO had another leg up. He worked with his fiancé both before and after his dad's death.

Their relationship didn't survive the dramatic change in leadership. “She thought she would help me become the boss,” Mat says. “But we had really different leadership styles.” He finally suggested a parting of the ways professionally. A romantic parting wasn't far behind.

Four months after the broken engagement, Mat met Carrie. Today the two are not only husband and wife but co-workers, too. “We didn't intend to work together,” Mat says. “But we started to think about it and took the plunge.”

Husband and wife benefit, Mat says, from laid-back attitudes. They also maintain healthy distance at work. Carrie, who works with the office manager, handles daily accounting. Mat has his own office and spends about half of his day checking jobsites.

Mat's advice for other entrepreneurial couples: “Try to limit work talk at home to 30 minutes a day on average,” he says. “Don't harp on it.”

Mark Stephenson calls himself an open, '90s kind of guy. Lynne, his fireball of a wife, teases that the '90s have come and gone. But the sentiment is there — on both sides. These two never stop.

Admitted workaholics, the entrepreneurial couple revel in their differences. Their diverging personalities have always been a plus in their marriage. So when Mark started to think about adding someone to his remodeling practice, he immediately saw the benefit of adding his opposite, Lynne.

“I sensed a huge hole in the center of my business,” he says. “As sensitive and aware as I think I might be, I can't cross the line far enough. I didn't look at it so much as making room for Lynne. I saw it as her filling the void in my company.”

Not surprisingly, Lynne remembers a different rationale. “Mark was looking at paying someone more than I was making to help out at the company,” recalls the former elementary school teacher. “He decided to let me take on whatever I wanted to do and pay me instead.”

Their current setup turns the traditional model on its ear. Each has clearly defined job descriptions, with Lynne front and center. She's the lead salesperson and follows through with most design, product selection, and the requisite hand-holding to bring a job to life. Meanwhile Mark manages the office (set up in their two-car garage). “Lynne takes a lot of the burden off me,” Mark says. “I can just settle back into what's comfortable for me.”

The two typically go on sales calls together. “The odds are better with two,” Lynne says. “A consultant would probably tell us not to double our investment in time and resources. But I know our close ratio wouldn't be as high.”

How do the guys in the field take to having Lynne at the helm? “She's the carpenter's friend,” Mark says. “They need her to fill the same void I need her for.” So when a problem comes up, they call Lynne. But it's usually not a construction problem. “They know how to cut a 2x4,” Mark says. “It's when they get down to telling the difference between the faucet with the nickel finish and the brushed chrome one.”

Even with clear-cut roles, Lynne and Mark still benefit from a little frank advice from time to time. Lynne recommends an unlikely source. “Go see Rob Becker's Defending the Caveman,” she says of the one-man Broadway comedy about the differences between men and women. “Half the time you laugh at yourself. The other half you laugh at your spouse. It's a great reality check.” —Wendy Ann Larson, a former managing editor at REMODELING, is a communications consultant and freelance writer in Bethesda, Md.

Find out how you and your spouse's relationship fares compared with other entrepreneurial couples.

• Put on the polygraph and posit the 24 questions on the “Checklist for Couples in Family Business” at www.familybusinessonline.org.
• Check out author Azriela Jaffe's “10 most common mistakes made by unhappy entrepreneurial couples” at www.isquare.com.

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• Self-Help Section

  Whether you're online or at your neighborhood bookstore, you'll find no shortage of books about working couples.

• Couples at Work: How Can You Stand to Work With Your Spouse? by E.W. James, et al.
• Entrepreneurial Couples: Making It Work at Work and at Home, by Kathy Marshack. Honey, I Want to Start My Own Business: A Planning Guide for Couples, by Azriela Jaffe.
• In Business and In Love, by Chuck and Aprill Jones.
• Married in Business: What You Must Know and Achieve to Survive and Thrive in Partnership, by Jack and Elaine Wyman.

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• Couples Counseling

  Get the help you need. In addition to the coaches mentioned in the story, and established industry consultants such as Remodelers Advantage and Business Networks, you can seek counseling through two professional associations. Find a business, personal, or family coach just right for you and your company.

  International Coach Federation
  1444 I St. N.W.
  Suite 700
  Washington, D.C. 20005
  888.423.3121
  www.coachfederation.org

  Worldwide Association of Business Coaches
  8578 Echo Place West
  Sidney, BC, V8L 5E2
  Canada
  www.wabccoaches.com

  Pat McCann
  McCann Communications
  P.O. Box 833
  Wilmette, Ill. 60091
  847.256.8608
  www.mccanncoach.com

  Clay Nelson
  Consulting Services Network
  4063 Naranjo Drive
  Santa Barbara, Calif. 93110
  309.284.0432
  www.cjenterprises.com